The Power of Self-Compassion - Health and Wellness Nashville

Last month I wrote about the importance of ‘self-care’ whether it be nutritional needs, physical activity, a healthy BMI (body mass index), the importance of detoxing, and attaining at least seven hours of sleep each night. Self-care constitutes actions and activities we take to preserve and improve our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. As Oprah Winfrey once said, “self-care means you are honoring yourself and loving yourself,” and I cannot agree more.

In reminding each of you to honor and love yourself, I want to also focus on ‘self-compassion’ as another step in supporting your individual self-care.

Self-compassion is the practice of being kind, respectful, and understanding toward ourselves, especially during difficult, stressful times. This act involves acknowledging our feelings and expressing them without judgment while focusing on the alleviation of personal, psychological, emotional, and even mental pain and suffering.

We often think of compassion as it applies to others, whether it be friends, family members, and even strangers when we see their suffering. Recently, our hearts were compassionately broken for the multiple victims who died in the Washington DC plane crash, the suffrage from the California wildfires, and even the Medi-vac plane that went down in Pennsylvania. Those feelings towards our fellow Americans were simply our sensitivity and extreme compassion to their suffering.

Dr. Christina Rahm

Personally, I have always had an overwhelming amount of compassion for everyone, but I am not so sure I have always had self-compassion towards myself. I, like several of my friends and colleagues, am a perfectionist; and tend to be diligently tough and judgmental towards ourselves, and the mistakes we make.

But, with all this said, we should always host self-compassion towards ourselves, just as we do for others. Self-compassion helps us soften the blow when we suffer, fail, make mistakes, or feel inadequate.

According to Harvard Health, traditional components to support self-compassion in oneself include:

Mindfulness: Being aware of thoughts, emotions, and actions without judgment towards ourselves.
Self-kindness: Use positive self-talk. Be loving and understanding towards ourselves while learning from each setback or incident to avoid making that same mistake again.
Common humanity: Recognizing that we are part of the human experience, which includes vulnerability and imperfection.

Chris Germer, PhD, a clinical psychologist, and lecturer on psychiatry (part-time) at Harvard Medical School recently authored a book titled The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion.

In his book, Dr. Germer suggests there are ways to bring self-compassion into your life. A few of those disciplines include:

The importance of comforting your body. Eat something healthy. Lie down and rest. Massage your neck, feet, or hands. Take a walk. Any actions to improve your physical state to give you a dose of self-compassion.
Write a letter to yourself. Describe a situation that caused pain (a breakup, a job loss, a poorly received presentation). It is important not to blame anyone but to acknowledge those feelings of sadness, without judgment.
Encourage yourself. If something unfortunate happens, think of what you would say to a good friend if the same thing happened to him or her. Direct these compassionate responses toward yourself.

Interestingly, most people come by self-compassion and self-empathy naturally, though others must learn it over time. By practicing self-compassion, your thoughts will improve your mental and physical well-being, while helping you better cope with challenges and difficulties.

During February’s month-long celebration of love, Valentine’s Day, heart-shaped memorabilia, and red roses, remember to not only love others, but love yourself, while treating YOU, with respect, understanding, and most of all, self-compassion.