Make space for positivity in your mind

By Gabby DeLorenze on 17th Aug 2020

Welcome to 2020! The year of total disaster! Or is it?

Before you flip the page, this isn’t another “be the best version of yourself/everything happens for a reason” article. This is a, “See what you have and use it to provide happiness” reminder. Life is happening for us, not to us. Positivity and optimism are learned traits, meaning, it’s not too late. The Law of Attraction states that we attract what we are. So, if you are sad, angry, jealous, and paranoid all of the time, guess what you’re going to attract? More of that.

The key to positivity can be simple but first, you need to clear the way for it:

– Make a list of everything on your to-do list, everything annoying you, and everything that’s currently in your way of whatever the definition of success is in your eyes.
– Circle everything on your list that you have control over today, cross out everything out of your control today.

We all take on other people’s problems (this is why so many of us enjoy reality TV and love to gossip). Stop getting so bogged down by all of the heavy things that you can’t control. This includes but is not limited to your spouse/partner, your children (No! You can’t control them), your job (if you’re not an entrepreneur.) Bottom line, you can only control yourself. This means you need to turn off social media; you’re not going to convince anyone in that space that their opinion is wrong.

Once you’ve created the space, the next step is to fill your new made space with positivity:

– Grab your favorite notebook and write down 5-10 things you’re grateful for right now!  Practice positive self-talk. Write down three things you love about yourself. This can be physical, emotional, spiritual, mental…anything!
– Look back at your to-do list. Schedule in time for yourself. Self-care is imperative for a positive outlook on all things.
– Make a list of everything you love, anything that usually brings you joy – keep it in your pocket

The most important thing in maintaining your positivity during chaotic times is to, mentally, be your own best friend. Think about your most recent thoughts. Perhaps you were driving and forgot your turn, did you instantly call yourself incompetent? You spilled something, are you an idiot? You’re running late for a zoom meeting, are you instantly a fool? Remember, you attract what you are! If you’re calling yourself an idiot, of course, that’s how you’re going to feel!

The trick is to, what I call, “be your own best friend.” If you say something to yourself whether mentally or out loud that you wouldn’t allow your friends to say about you, the first and most important step is to stop. Find a pause in your cycle of reaction. This is as simple as acknowledging what you said, taking a moment for a deep breath in and out or, my personal favorite, whip out your favorite dance move! Your subconscious remembers everything and doesn’t register emotions, including sarcasm. Finding a pause will help you break your patterns of reaction which are traditionally learned behaviors that usually, no longer serve us in our adult years.

After you’ve stopped and created a pause between your thoughts, it’s time to respond:
– Apologize to yourself for your negative thought
– Choose a replacement thought: I am the best, I am giving it my best, it’s okay – nothing broke…

This pattern of reaction vs. response helps up-level our mindset which creates more positive moments throughout the day aka more happiness in life. The more you can respond to life, the less life will happen to you, and the more it will happen for you.

Remember, aim small miss small. What is one thing you can do right now just to feel 1% better? Check back at your things you love list if you don’t know! When you’re stuck in a hole you don’t just try to jump out of it; perhaps today you simply try and stand up. Maybe it’s as simple as recognizing that you’re even in the hole. Positivity is a mentality that can be chosen from moment to moment. Are you ready for it?

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